Thursday, August 4, 2011

Gbo Gbo Bigzzz Girlsssss!!!

by Sisi Yemmie of GISTDOTCOM
Girls wont kill us these dayss....Everyone sha wants to be biggzzzz....Abeg who has heard of this new craziness called Brazillian hair oh? and Indian one ma? what of malaysian? high 5 jare if you are very conversant with these things that have become like a virus especially in 9ja girls. Dem no go let pezin hear word again!. Ahn Ahn! If you dont have money, you go suffer. Who say money no good?bring am make i woze am! Is it an easy sometin to look like Beyonce,, Ciara, ati be be lo?tell me?! Well these hair people finally showed us the secret to their long natural looking hair pieces abi na extension dem dey call am. You see ehn...when I was ignorant, i would spend the better part of my day trying to figure out how a black girl like me will have long mammy water hair. Wetin I do? I go just dey wonder.But we thank God! Breeze don blow and fowl yansh don open. I now know that I can resemble all these celebrities one kind if i combine lace hair and brazillian hair!Some people sef will do the lace hair n resemble ojuju, na wah oh....


Naija girlss....kai! Do you know you can be walking on the road and one kobo legged girl will just say ' excuse me, is it brazillian you are wearing?'...lol...she knows its is not brazillian, she just wan mumu you n bring you down. And you sef ode will say, 'oh no, its darling yaki'...Na dat one dey pain me pass. The koboleg will now say ' oh...i thot it was brazillian, so i wanted to ask where you bought it cos my friend told me that mine was a rip off, u wont believe i paid 120k for this hair!'....hmmm....she don loyal you be that! In just ONE sentence, she told you kpe you no reach, say levels pass levels, and she be BIGGGSSSS what? BiIIIGGGGSS Girls!

Nne and Nna's, gone are the days when you will do darling yaki, yaki flip up, sensational, yaki mirelle, and be feeling cool with yourself. If you want to know your levels for society now na by your hair. If you're not rocking brazillian yet, my dear, na u sabi. All these kain oppresion can make people commit armed robbery and aristocracy! Ehen now. You want to be bigs, and your boyfriend still dey 200 level mechanical, wetin you go do? na to enter igboro go find one old monkey wey senior your papa. The man will be arranging you and you will be sorting him in return. Well that option is for girls wey know say, nuttin nuttin i must be bigggsss.

The other option is to starve. If your allawi was kuku 20 k per month, you will sha make sure you save 15k out of it. Dont ask me what you will eat oh...all those girls i know them. They will visit Angelina today chop rice dia. Go to tope tomorrow and swallow eba dia,borrow money from Imabong and then after 5 months, money don complete and they r now what? Biggggsssss. Thank you! What happened to the good old days? I remember VIVIDLY, how me I like to economise on my hair. No be 400 naira pere for darling yaki? thats if i dont even price it down to 350 pa pa. And i will make sure the one i buy is very full so that one pack will b enuf for my head (i kuku thank God i have small skull ). And if the hair dresser finish d one pack before she finish my hair , na she sabi! Because I always warn them before they start my hair kpe, me oh, na one pack i dey use oh. If they say hair wey no full no dey fine, i go say na scanty hair dey fit me pass. I don ya were ni? abi na winch i chop? But that was in the past. These days, we gats shed our ayetoro mentality and become biggs naw. Slowly but surely.

Have you noticed something kpe, when people don fix this hair they will be feeling like they r more than themselves?as in their mind go dey totori dem? and it will be like they are walking on air. have u noticed?I notice all these little things jor. Its hard not to. Infact, i have studied the hair sotay....one glance is all I need to tell u boya its indian, peruvian, malaysian, brazillian or Aba hair (darling yaki dem dem).lol. But last time I checked, other hair extensions like pro 10 (price of two mtn 1500 recharge cards) were still in vogue. From nowhere this sudden tornado of Brazillian hair just took over 9ja. I still dont understand how. I f you want to die of oppression go to Lagos! at least for warri dem never jasi too much.

Brazillian hair is not the only thing oh. BB nko?infact, without that one, 'they' say you are a nobody! People no dey collect phone number again oh, na BB Pin,. If u no get and you are a girl in 9ja, your self esteem go drop! Ahhhhh...9ja girls can oppress. And you know ehn, when you hold BB, you no fit keep am inside handbag - what is worrying you?? you gats flaunt it naw...its not easy naw....c'mon naw! You will hold it n use it to point, touch, and gesticulate. One of my friends wrote on my wall (remember our topic on facebook manners?) and she said, send me your BB pin jor, mine is. blah blah blah. Wetin she dey try do so? She dey try make me look stupid. Olorun maje!!! I cant tell you how i replied her, but one thing is for sure, she will NEVER try it again.lol

I overhead this chic saying she cant even date a guy that doesnt use a Blackberry. E gbami! So blackberry naim dem go chop? She defended it by saying she wants somebody with status and that BB is relationship friendly. Na wah oh. Eyin guys, mo sorry gaaan! Una dey try. So BB now rates a guy? only in 9ja! Only! If you are even trying to be something in life n ur girlfriend just dey bug u up and down say all her friends r using BB and Brazillian hair what will you do? BB the cheapest is nothing less than 30 k, Brazillian hair nko? nutting less than 50 k..Lace hair is the killer...nutting less than 70k. how u wan do? All these girls, please take it easy oh. We understand kpe you must be bigs, but na small small.

Even me sef that im doing this tatafo...i shall not be found wanting. Before the end of 2010, I must be what? BIGGGSS.....Gbo gbo bigsss girls...I hail oh!!!! 

ps. If you want to be biggs, contact me cos i don dey sell d hair now sef :))))



Thankyou Sisi Yemmie...we don hear you o...lol

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