Natural in Nigeria and the wahala that comes...

by 
Chizor of Oomphitsnatural

I recently went for a birthday party with a friend of  mine and on getting there, I met his cousin (mind you, I have seen this girl before). She said hello with a funny look on her face, took her cousin aside and asked if I was the pretty girl that used to hang out with them o_0.  He said yes and she was like "What happened to her? She looks really ugly" . As if that was not enough, she came to me and told me to put a relaxer in my hair and that I "look funny and ugly "(for my mind sha, I beat the girl to nonsense).
On hearing this, I felt bad and depressed through out the whole party (even as I dress I still come dey look round, dey believe say the other girls with Brazilian hair and Darling Yaki fine pass me.)
When I got home, I went straight to my bathroom and peeped into the mirror,  what I saw was an ugly girl with very short hair  instead of the pretty girl that loved to rock her  TWA.
Waking up in the morning, I looked at  myself in the mirror again and said aloud "You are beautiful" . That helped to boost my esteem (Praise The Lord!)
Going natural.... I was not prepared for the mighty wave of emotions and bad belle people.I am learning and still learning everyday, but so far, concerning my natural short hair,  these are the major things I have learnt:

* Don't expect too much from your hair: Learn to love what you've got. You might not have Tracee Ellis Ross ringlets or Viola's tight curls, but always remember that what comes out of your scalp is just as beautiful.

* Acceptance and Confidence: These two go hand in hand . If you don't accept the way you look, you won't wear your new look with confidence.Going natural means having lots and lots and lots of confidence because all the bad belle people will call you names and say mean things like "you are very ugly"
Someone once said to me:  "See as you be like witch...." (how she take know how witch look like?) "...no man will talk to you oh...you too resemble boy...see your mighty Rihanna" (a.k.a Akpan)
Some will even go as far as quoting  the Bible for you:
1 Corinthians 11:15
  "But that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering."
1 Corinthians 11:6
 "For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head."
Others  will go to the extent of buying you a relaxer (you send them, abi you beg them?)
When these hypocrites come close to you with their serpentine tongue do what I always do:
a) Sing LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it"
b) Sing Christina Aguilera's "I am beautiful no matter what they say words can't bring me down..." or
c) Tell them the story of Samson: Yes, he was weak when his hair was chopped off (just the way my emotions are making me weak..)  but the hair did not even grow more than 2 inches long when he brought the laughing philistines down...(just the way I am going to bring this laughing bad belle people down with my fly natural fro soon)
Finally, just because you are feeling down with your TWA does not give you the right -yes I said RIGHT- to dress anyhow. You'll  simply  be giving them room to laugh at you oh. So, make it your own!
Like I always say "accessorize your confidence"
Now go out and have a grand ol' natural time............
XOXO








NatMane : Thanks for sharing your story with us Chizee! Yesterday, I met a Natural Sister who was clueless to the fact that natural Nigerian women have to deal with name calling and finger pointing 0_o. Not just at home but also at work and on the streets. At the last Lagos hair meetup I attended in Lagos, more than three ladies told me that they were prohibited from wearing their hair in certain styles (because it was natural) and from tying head wraps to work. I was shocked. In Africa, Nigeria fa!! Head wraps are a part of our culture and kinky hair is what we are born with!! If I can't get acceptance in my own family, amongst my  friends, in my country, in my own continent, then where on earth am I supposed to feel comfortable!! 
Enough of the rant...I'll throway salute to all my  Sisters who are transitioning and those who wear their fro's with confidence...CARRY GO!! Keep rocking what God gave you with pride. Till next  time...Peace,Heart& Natural!!

11 comments:

  1. Awww! I understand where she's coming from. I had the same experience, when I decided to begin wearing out my natural hair. It wasn't easy, but you just have to keep cool and stay true to yourself. She looks lovely; I like her looks! :)

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  2. Great post! I'm sorry that you had that experience. You offered some great tips for newly naturals and I agree that confidence is very important. You rock your TWA fiercely :)

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  3. haha, you beat up the woman in your mind. that's funny. I'm very shocked women can't wear head wraps to work in NIGERIA! I'm still very shocked, what about those deeper life and religious women who keep their hair natural, dont wear jewelleries, make up and any thing that attracts too much attention? I guess they work for themselves then. Keep rocking those YWAs Chizee. I love your style

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    1. Let's be real naa,shuooo! If you work in the bank,wearing a cute suit and a head wrap on a monday morning? Ah ah naaa. Naija is behind i know,and dats why dey carry the dressing tin 4head. There are styles for short hair or leavin it like that since its dat short...

      Nice article btw,am transitioning too. I cut a lot of my relaxed hair but not all,haven't done the final big chop yet.
      Cheers to all my fellow transitioners

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  4. My sista, don't mind them jo. You're gorgeous- face and hair.

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  5. thank y'all for your comment...rocking my TWA has given me confidence to do anything and rock any look......thanks Nat you are the best

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  6. This is really a nice post. Obviously, you are putting a lot of hard work on your blog.

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  7. Honey, no mind those yeye people jare! You will have the last laugh. Just keep taking care of yourself and your hair and keep smiling :)

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  8. Na wa o! Love that you beat her to nonsence in your mind. :D

    Stand tall sis and let your hair stand out too. You are you and God knew exactly what He was doing when He carefully, purposefully and lovingly crafted you and your hair.

    In a year or two the same folks will ask you how you got your hair so healthy and how can they do the same. When it happens ... let us know! ;)

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    1. thanks you very much..........i cant wait to show them all my full afro soon...

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  9. Although I have relaxed hair, I always admire people who carry their natural hair. Please excuse me but I really get upset about such people:
    That girl was rude, thoughtless and ignorant.
    I think you are a really beautiful lady. Next time, stand up to whoever talks to you like that. Let her show you her real hair: I'm sure it will probably be nothing to write home about!
    Have a nice day!

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