Sugabelly Says it Like it is...


This post was written by Sugabelly (not in the pi.c above) and originally appeared on her blog at Sugabellyrocks.com

ThirdWorldProfashional put up a post today about natural hair and relaxed hair in Nigeria and her opinions on various matters involved in the whole situation. I left a couple of comments on the post, but I felt it was important that I repost them here.
I think that there is a lot of unwarranted hostility towards natural hair in Nigeria and there is a lot of misinformation being spread around. Even worse, there is the particularly annoying and very dangerous habit that pro-relaxer Nigerians have of downplaying the very serious issues surrounding the self image of Nigerian (and by extension black) women when they compare themselves and are compared to women of other races and the key role that these issues play in steering women towards the decision to relax or to remain natural.

I am tired of hearing Nigerians say "It's just hair" or quote India Arie and say "I am not my hair".

You know what?

FUCK India Arie. She wrote a feel good song with a positive message, but you'd have to be drunk off your rocker to believe that bullshit.

Like it or not, you are very much your hair. Your hair does not define the totality of what you are because as a human being you are made up of so many facets but your hair is a very REAL and very legitimate one of those facets and whether you want to hold hands and sit in a circle and daydream till kingdom come, the FACT of the matter is that people in this world DO and WILL judge others based on their hair.

 Fulani Women
People who relax are very much aware of this and that is why they relax. Because at the end of the day, no one wants to be told they are ugly and people want to feel good about themselves. People who relax KNOW that the way this world has been set up, black people are dehumanized and shit on by EVERYBODY, and everything that reminds anybody of Africans or any aspect of our lives or cultures or existence is demeaned at every opportunity and dismissed or at least deliberately ranked as less than or lower than anything attributed to anyone else and that includes our hair.

The foolishness...
So maybe you can go through life with relaxed hair and everyone will smile at you and nod their head and your boss will be happy and you will get promotions but at the end of the day what does it mean? All it means is that you AGREE that you were made defective. You AGREE that you are inferior at least in some way because well, you were given an inferior brand of hair so you have to "Fix" it or at least get it looking as close as possible to the CORRECT type of hair.

It's not just hair and your decision about your hair doesn't affect just you. It affects ALL of us. The Indian women and Brazilian women whose hair you are wearing with so much pride, what do you think they think of you? How do you think you look to those women? To those women we are pathetic. We are so desperate to wear THEIR hair on our heads it's a joke. They can shave it off if they want and sell it to a hair trader, it's not a big deal, it will grow back, big diff.

It affects all of us, because it's not even as if any of our rejection of our own bodies is going on in private. It's happening IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE WORLD and THEY CAN SEE and they laugh at us. Black women are the laughing stock of the whole world because everyone is watching us desperately go to any means to look like anything but what we actually are and it strokes the ego of every non-Black woman that can see because it's obvious to her that you're trying to look like her and she's not trying to look like you.

Source
Sure, we hide it under all sorts of euphemisms or faulty logic or fake science like "relaxed hair is more manageable" or "straight hair is more professional" or "light skin is just cleaner looking" and so on, but NOBODY is fooled.

These things we do are what make people like Satoshi Kanazawa feel like he has the balls to come out and write an article on the Internet titled Why Black Women are Ugly. This is why Nigerian singers like Dare Art Alade, Naeto C, and Dbanj have the guts to ignore the millions of Nigerian women who will support them die with their money and fan worship and populate their videos with white South Africans and Indians. After all are you not the one that told them that Indians are better than you by eschewing your own hair but doling out hard cash for hair that an Indian gave up for free? This is why men have the balls to say things like "Anybody who dates black women is nasty" or "Black girls are gross". People insult us because we have already insulted ourselves by our actions.

Why won't somebody open their mouth and trash you when you have already said non-verbally that your hair is trash, and your skin is trash? Why won't they?

If you want to relax your hair, I am not coming to your house any time soon to come and flog you in the middle of the night with a koboko but please, PLEASE stop this nonsense of "It's not a big deal" or "It's just hair" because unless you are blind, deaf, and dumb and live inside Olumo Rock on top of that you will have noticed the way Black women are treated when it comes to beauty in comparison to other women. I am not saying that the people treating us this way are not at fault too or that the American media that seems determined to dominate every corner of the globe with its racist imagery is not at fault too, but I AM saying that WE went outside and plucked the cane that they are using to beat us.
P.s.
You can read  Sugabelly's comments to TWP on her blog on this post.




Nat Says: While I hate to start up old heated discussions, I think that Sugabelly's words are thought provoking. Especially as the problem of bleaching is spreading like fire. Its like everywhere I turn there is a Jik bleached girl. A lot of Nigerians just act without actually thinking about the effects that their actions might have- not just on their health but on the younger generation and how they see themselves.  I had thought it was just me- and a few others-who noticed  the Nigerian music video phenomena until a 13 year old girl asked me why Dare "did not like to use 'black Nigerian women" ...hm!! na dere I put full stop! 

Note: Discussions relating to this post are open to ladies/gents of all hair types (relaxed, natural,bald,e.t.c)

22 comments:

  1. It IS a problem in our global community that we choose not to address because in addressing it we'd have to face what we prefer to ignore. "WE went outside and plucked the cane that they are using to beat us." Deep.

    I wanted to go natural despite the initial fear that paralyzed me. But more than wanting to I knew that NEEDED to shed myself of my relaxed hair because I actually felt as though I was living a lie. I had to correct that for myself, for my daughter and for anyone who would look upon me. I wanted to be authentic and have never regretted the decision.

    This post is so on point, I read it with my mouth open. But I like India.aire too much to do as the author suggests.

    This skin bleaching thing goes beyond the pale. I did a post on Slimwavy about Sammy Sosa, his skin bleaching and the denial that followed. This kind of thing makes me absolutely speechless.

    Thank you for posting.

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    1. I love India but I still dont understand the song. How can I not be my hair? I read the post you did and all I can do is sigh...when are we going to get it together? I so cant wait for bleaching to be termed as old school...
      Its always a joy to see mothers like yourself stand up to set a good example for their daughters...healthy self esteem is first developed at home. Keep up the good work JazzWife!!

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  2. the politics of "black" hair is nothing new and what is happening is Nigeria is not exclusive to Nigeria. It is a worldwide pandemic for women/men of African lineage. Many of us have inherited the pathology of internalized racism as “culture, tradition” and are not always conscious on how it manifest in behaviors, identity, philosophy and concepts.

    In the US during the enslavement of people of African descent the straigtening, pressing/perming, softening-jerry curls (usually men) was a matter of survival. Women could not attain decent jobs outside of domestic servitude if they wore their natural hair so they "Europeanized" i.e. perm/straighten it to gain access. The survival instinct will shift you in ways one would never have though imaginable the perming is one such instinct, to gain accessibility, to feed families, maintain a roof over their heads.

    The internalization and deconstructing of ourselves away from our "Africanness" goes way beyond the hair and unfortunately self-negation has become so inherent imbedded in our lives, our thinking, our psyche that most of us live unconsciously unconscious.

    All that being said, not all who perm, wear wigs, extensions i.e. alter their hair from its natural state are unaware of the hair politics and all that is associated with it.

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    1. Wow...thanks for the insight Rhapsody B.I also agree with your last two paragraphs.As an African leaving in Africa, I find that it is very easy for us to sweep our history under carpet and with it goes the reasons for some of our actions and beliefs. While I completely understand the plight of my brothers and sisters in other parts of the world, I struggle to understand the reasoning behind this destructive behavior in Africa. There are no white men telling me to look a certain way before I can get a job in Nigeria but there are men and women that like me telling me to look a certain way before I can get my peace.
      Thanks for stopping by.

      Delete
  3. Too right and well said! Like it or not, 'fixing' and relaxing hair, toning, bleaching are all forms of self hatred. Time to face the truth and stop fooling yourselves!

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  4. I went natural because my hair started to fall out because of a relaxer. It wasn't until I started to tell people that I was going natural that my eyes were opened to the "slave" mentality related to straight hair. This post is deep. If you can't wear your hair natural for social responsibility maybe for better health or just start telling the truth about why you wear a weave and bleach your skin. In God's eyes we were all born beautiful. Why can't we see the beauty that was given to us?

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    1. "In God's eyes we were all born beautiful. Why can't we see the beauty that was given to us?"
      You can say that again JenJen. Nigerians are said to be the most religious people. We say we love God and praise Him for His great work yet we somehow delete ourselves form the list of beautiful creations and spend our time and resources to look like zombies...sad:(

      Delete
  5. Even though I understand her message, I cannot understand her aggressiveness! Sugarbelly can never write a post without being so aggressive and mostly rude in the way she expresses herself! It comes across as so immature when you cannot put your point across to someone of a different view without showing respect to the other person and even some empathy rather than being so harsh and critical all the time! I really can't deal with her posts!

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  6. Natural hair(well groomed one at that) on a black woman is the most beautiful thing, but hey what do I know.

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    1. Aww...thanks for the kind words Blogoratti. With more brothers like you maybe all the funds used solely on our heads might be used for correct development in the lives of the poor...

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  7. Sugarbelly really needs to calm don, I'm sorry but I think it's just hair! I've been natural on and off for over 6 years and guess what? I'm getting my hair relaxed this weekend, why? because it's just hair!!!! And no I don't hate myself, I just feel like it. When i'm tired of relaxed hair, I'll chop it off and go back to being natural. It's really just hair after all!

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    1. ^_^ I like you strength but remember that everyone is entitled to their opinions and that includes Sugarbelly.
      Thanks for stopping by:)

      Delete
  8. Sugabelly na serious Firebelle o..

    I totally agree with her, its just hair but i see the different way people look at me when i have my wig on and when i have my kinks out.Anytime i have the kinks out, its either "when are you going to do your hair" or "you look like a house girl".

    Some people just cannot get their head around the fact that you can carry your hair without relaxing it.

    To Anon 1: Sugabelly is free to speak as passionately as she wants on any issue. Freedom of speech.

    Anon 2: Lucky you, its just hair true, but i have been banished to wearing wigs because my Bosses at work CANNOT understand why my hair is not relaxed!! When i am told i look unkempt and unprofessional its not just about my hair again o. You dey attack me!!

    Nice one Nat....

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    1. Can I get a high 5 here?!! If its just hair then why on earth does everyone feel pressured to get me a relaxer?

      Delete
  9. i remember reading TWP's post and sugabelly's response and all the drama that happened ...sigh

    every one is titled to their opinion and everyone is entitled to do whatever they want to their hair.

    i guess knowing about the history of black hair helps.

    i am natural cuz i was having issues with relaxers. i have become more awareness of my health and wat i eat or use on my body...

    my issue is when we begin to judge each other and join different camps. team relaxer vs team natural vs team wig vs team weave. but why?

    the one that trips me is when some naturals frown at other naturals who wear weaves...(forget that team relaxed is already on our case). We all have our reasons for doing different things. e.g my hubby is not fully on board with the natural movement so i have to compromise by braiding or using wigs sometimes

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    1. Good point Aloted. We naturals need to focus on better battles... Trust me there are a lot waiting to be fought. I have met a lot of ladies like yourself and I have nothing but respect for you. Do what you've got to do and ignore the nay Sayers. I have tried wigs but I hated the uncomfortable feel. Thanks for sharing your views with us.

      Delete
  10. I guess sugarbelly is finally tired of being constantly harrased by zipped up weaved women such as the one shown in the pic above (very funny btw is such weaves do exist). But I am still shocked each time I hear about similar stories by African women in Africa. I mean you guys are the majority, you have no one to compete with to make your hair look like theirs. I think us black people really do have issues with ourselves. From our hair texture to skin shades, fashion and language. I mean why can't people wear trads to work? and how come rich Nigerian kids only speak English to their parents? Totally off topic, but I believe it goes beyond hair

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    1. Hi Curious Kinks,
      You better believe it, there is hair like that and more styles that look even worse! Plus I repeat what you have just said over and over again that I must sound like a broken record. Who are we competing with? The white Nigerian population is less than a percent so where does all the insecurity come from? I simply cannot understand why we wear suits under the HOT African sun and I cant understand why lawyers have to wear wigs, robes,and a suit under the African sun. It is punishment believe me. As for language, that's another good question. That is were Hausa people try sha...they speak their language to their kids like fire and most of them only learn good English in school. However, I cant say the same about other tribes.Sad...

      Delete
  11. This article is so on point its unbe-freakin-lievable! I've seen first hand how evil bleaching is. My sister was born with glossy, dark brown skin. She went to Uni and came back with something called "Movate" and that was the end of her! She's translucent, keloidal and burns in the sun! Imagine AN AFRICAN that burns in the sun, for goodness sake! Thanks to her misadventure I grew up craving dark skin. Working in a white collar job for a few years meant my natural hair was unacceptable "dress code" and I had to endure the hell of relaxers, weaves, tonging, gels and dandruff! I've recently gone natural as relaxing my hair has become psychological torture for me...I get stomach cramps when they base my hairline and my throat closes when I smell the relaxer (true story). So to avoid another semi asthmatic reaction, I've decided to just go 'natchy' as my other sister would say. thanks to watching Chris Rock's documentary Good Hair!
    About the other issues raised, its a cultural thing. We live in a time where we have an unparalleled opportunity to put our culture out there, but instead we choose to absorb the trash we see on MTV Base and Channel O. I admire musicians like J'odie, who's video I don't tire of watching. That fro! That glossy dark skin! The 60s vibe of the whole video! The great cultural renaissance that began in the FESTAC 77 era never really blossomed, largely due to the rise of globalisation and the Internet. U can hardly even listen to d radio and hear DJs talking normally anymore! Its like u have to have a foreign accent to get a job as a DJ.
    We have missed it somewhere along the line, and we need to retrace our steps and get back to loving who we are. Because bleach as much as you like, black is black and the world will never let u forget it, even if u try to!
    Halle Berry, in spite of being biracial, still had to resort to soft porn to get an Oscar!
    You are your hair, no sense in pretending otherwise. I had short hair for a year in my early 30s and I've never gotten as many compliments as I did when I went natural. With a weave in you're just another crazy woman, banging your palm against your scalp!

    ReplyDelete
  12. This article is so on point its unbe-freakin-lievable! I've seen first hand how evil bleaching is. My sister was born with glossy, dark brown skin. She went to Uni circa 1992 and came back with something called "Movate" and that was the end of her! She's translucent, keloidal and burns in the sun! Imagine AN AFRICAN that burns in the sun, for goodness sake! Thanks to her misadventure I grew up craving dark skin. Working in a white collar job for a few years meant my natural hair was unacceptable "dress code" and I had to endure the hell of relaxers, weaves, tonging, gels and dandruff! I've recently gone natural as relaxing my hair has become psychological torture for me...I get stomach cramps when they base my hairline and my throat closes when I smell the relaxer (true story). So to avoid another semi asthmatic reaction, I've decided to just go 'natchy' as my other sister would say. thanks to watching Chris Rock's documentary Good Hair!
    About the other issues raised, its a cultural thing. We live in a time where we have an unparalleled opportunity to put our culture out there, but instead we choose to absorb the trash we see on MTV Base and Channel O. I admire musicians like J'odie, who's video I don't tire of watching. That fro! That glossy dark skin! The 60s vibe of the whole video! The great cultural renaissance that began in the FESTAC 77 era never really blossomed, largely due to the rise of globalisation and the Internet. U can hardly even listen to d radio and hear DJs talking normally anymore! Its like u have to have a foreign accent to get a job as a DJ.
    We have missed it somewhere along the line, and we need to retrace our steps and get back to loving who we are. Because bleach as much as you like, black is black and the world will never let u forget it, even if u try to!
    Halle Berry, in spite of being biracial, still had to resort to soft porn to get an Oscar!
    You are your hair, no sense in pretending otherwise. I had short hair for a year in my early 30s and I've never gotten as many compliments as I did when I went natural. With a weave in you're just another crazy woman, banging your palm against your scalp!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Okay so i'm natural and I find this post too agressive.... I mean when white people do unnatural things to their hair no one attacks them so why are Africans doing it? everyone is entitled to what they want to do with their hair... and if anyone of the male gender criticizes you cuz of your hair then I don't think you associate with that personn.... life is too short to be imposing opinions on other people.... so if a lady feels like putting 12 packs of synthetic hair on her head she should be allowed to... if she feels like relaxing her hair she Should be allowed to... please don't make people feel bad because of what they like...

    ReplyDelete

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